Otherwise known as feeling utterly stuck, and the clock is ticking. I feel it getting louder and faster, and utterly unbearable, as the deadline for my closing bears down on me. Just 10 days away and I’ve made nary a decision. I’m stuck.
Five should be a big deal, a milestone, and I think I’ve said it before, but it feels lack luster. Is it because I have made the decision to just move in? To let the place be what it is and see how that turns out? Maybe. I was reviewing the pictures and all those things that seem inconsequential when you look at a place for 5 minutes, with an eye toward a gut, suddenly spring to the forefront. The dated opening into the kitchen, the granite counter tops, the white appliances, the window casings, the doors, the lack of symmetry. The stairs that go to nowhere on the lower level, the carpet, really I could keep going but it just takes me down a path that I may not find my way back from.
Then I wonder if I should just blast the whole place in gray. Despite what the rest of the world may think about this color, it is in fact my happy place. Is it possible to cover all manner of design insults with a coat of paint?
Before I asked this question I thought it wouldn’t be so bad if I just tore out that little half wall at the entry – such a minor offense. Then I thought, while I’m just in there tearing out that little bit of an inconsequential thing, why not just address that kitchen wall. Sure it has a whole set of cabinets on the opposing side, but it blocks the site lines through the living room – what’s that you say, it has that convenient little opening that you can look through – You had to bring that up – didn’t you. Now that wall will have to go, and the pots and pans will just have to find another home. While we are doing that we mine as well address the asymmetry of the fireplace wall, and what of the floors? Should those be stripped and painted too?
You see my dilema. That tiny little duplex will be a gut before I am done with it, and it’s really not in the budget. Santa Baby, I’ve almost got the duplex, just send checks. I’ve been an awfully good girl.