If it’s going to be frightful, at the very least I could make an attempt to transform the interior into something delightful. Like an old barn that is made magically special with a singular string of fairy lights, or maybe two, my yet to be started apartment, could certainly benefit from a sprig of holly and some evergreen. I can’t let the Instagram holiday decorating denizens defeat me before I even pull out my tree stand.

You know it isn’t real right? Like the wild wonky mirrors inside the circus tent that turn you into a thistle thin reed blowing in the tall grass or a plump peach of a pretty little girl that prefers playing with Barbie’s to riding her bike, it’s make believe. Try anyway. Perfection is overrated, and nobody worth their salt ever let a camera filter get in the way of a fun afternoon.

Insta is aspirational, inspirational, infuriatingly fake perfection that I am going to attempt to copy. Armed with handfuls of Command Hooks, spools of twine and thin green wire. I’m not afraid to pull out the hot glue gun and the duct tape too if it comes to that, nor should you be afraid. If you were a paid influencer with a slue of Martha Steward minions – the likes of which hailed from her eponymous Mag, that would be one thing. The creation of an entire town cut out of gingerbread and piped with icing, sprinkled with crystalized sugar and presented in under an hour, commercials included, would be de rigueur. Me, I would leave my kitchen looking like a flour bomb went off, a dilapidated house held together by string, a few tall candy canes shoring it up, and a large glass of wine in hand. My consolation prize for the effort.

While I suspect my merry making might have a similar outcome it feels worth the effort. I’ll turn on the tv to White Christmas, I really adore that leopard pill box hat and poof that Vera Ellen dons for her arrival in Vermont, and create my own original decorations. Just as I might not be able to create the much adored designs I’ll find on-line or hung from the chimney’s of every retail store from Madison Avenue to Bond, they will not likely be able to replicate mine. It only seems fair. Now for the merry-making.